So here’s an issue that came up with one of my female clients lately and good chance you’ve experienced the same thing in your online dating. She’s getting guys to message her on online dating, they go back and forth, and yet it never progresses. Some guys never ask for her number or ask her on a date. So I give you this, explaining how to get him to ask you out online.
Why does a guy engage in emailing a woman online but never ask her out?
I’ve found there are generally 3 reasons.
1. He isn’t sure his advances are welcome.
Men aren’t always as brave and we assume they should be. If they don’t KNOW a woman likes them, they don’t pull the trigger. And a lot of “nice” guys are afraid that if they ask too early, they will freak you at and you’ll run away.
2. He is totally clueless that he should do this. Just completely and totally clueless that this is the next step. It is baffling to understand this because why else do you join online dating if not to meet people?
3. He’s just enjoying chatting and isn’t interested enough to go out. You’re a fun distraction from work, though. This guy is the worst—jump ship from this sinking boat as fast as possible.
If the guy you’re talking to falls into camp #1 or camp #2, there are still options you have to get him to ask you out online and meet his guy in person.
Here’s exactly what to say to get him to ask you out online!
• You can’t “tell” via email
My favorite is when they ask you a question and then you respond,
“I can actually only tell you that over a drink.”
This is fun, flirty, not overly aggressive and gives him the green light to ask you out, but you haven’t had to do anything that seems aggressive.
You can downplay it even more if it’s something that requires a longer answer
“That’s kind of a long/funny/interesting story and best told in person if you really want to hear it.”
• If he doesn’t ask you a question, you can tease something in the conversation along the lines of,
“Remind me to tell you the story about _____. But it’s better told in person”
• When you feel like you’ve given enough hints and he still doesn’t bite you’ve got to decide when to throw a final hail Mary or cut the line.
“It’s been great talking to you, let me know if you’d like to meet up.”
If he doesn’t respond with a plan to move things along form there, move on.
• Try using the I’m “too busy to be on the site/app” excuse
“Hey I’m busy at work this week so it’s hard for me to log on, how do you feel about moving to text or meeting up?”
• Pretend like he’s trying to ask you out.
To answer a “how’s your week?” or “how was your weekend?” type of question, try,
“It was great, blah blah, and it looks like I’ll have some time later this week if you want to get together”
• Be bold, and flirty. Men love this
“By the way, you can ask me out/ask for my number at any time now.:) ”
Ladies, what has worked for you to move things along? How did you get him to ask you out online?