You’ve gotten a girls number either from online dating or some other method. But what to Do After You’ve Gotten a Girl’s Phone Number?
Once you’ve gotten a girls number your purpose is to transition that into a date.
Text first. You want her to know it’s you. Introduce yourself on the text “Hi April, It’s Steve from Match (the really handsome and funny one, just in case you’re confused.) How’s it going?“
Odds are she’ll respond and say she is good in some way. If she gives you more information besides that she is “good,” respond to what she says. For example if she’s like, “Doing well just finishing up my hot yoga class.” Respond to her comment about yoga, “That’s awesome, I want to hear about it! Are you available for a quick chat today or tomorrow night?”
You also want to establish a means to get on the phone. Mentioning that the call will be quick from the get-go so it’s easier for both of you to handle.
I definitely recommend a phone call for online daters. You will be able to determine a LOT about your date just by hearing how they talk on the phone.
What you’re looking for on a phone call:
- Are they pleasant?
- Can they make conversation and respond back to you?
- Do they ask you questions?
- Do they seem normal*? This is a personal metric but ask yourself do they seem like you could potentially get along with them in public.
If all of these things are true, then you’ll want to make plans to meet. If things seem off on the phone, don’t make plans for a date. Simply say, “It was nice talking to you. I’m supposed to call my brother/boss/ father now. Have a good rest of your night”
What do you discuss on the call?
Establish small talk .
“Hi April, nice to finally get to talk to you. How is your week going?”
Let her respond. Then you need to learn how to recognize what she says and respond. Repeat what she says back and ask a follow up. Studies show this helps people like you more.
So let’s say she tells you something about her job. “Oh you work as an teacher, right? Do you have a lot of papers to grade?…. Cool, well if it’s not too crazy I’d love to set up a time we can get together. I remember you said you like wine, have you ever been to the Wine Crush? …..Yeah they have a champagne and desserts thing on Thursday. Wanna go? Cool. How’s 7? And do you prefer to meet there or I can pick you up? Perfect I’ll see you there at 7.”
If she doesn’t give you much to go off of in the call, bring up elements from your conversation online or her profile. Have her profile and your emails handy or in your mind so you know what you’ve already talked about and to give you ideas about more things to talk about.
When in doubt you can always rely on “How is your week going?” How was your weekend?” “Do you have anything fun going on this weekend?”
Length of the Call
Your phone calls doesn’t need to be more than 10 minutes long. I do not advise overly long phone calls before you’ve met. You want to establish next steps of meeting in person to make sure you’re attracted before investing significant time in conversations. Trust me. Have had many a client regret getting comfortable on the phone only to find out later he wasn’t attracted in person.
Day of the Date
This confirms plans for you both. I can’t tell you how many women love having the plans confirmed
Text something like,“Hi April! Looking forward to meeting tonight. Don’t forget I’m the handsome funny one (or I’ll be wearing a blue button down). See you soon.”
There you have it. How to handle the transition from online to in person once you’ve gotten a phone number. Have you found any other ways to make talking on the phone less awkward? Let me know!